just change life

Ha ha, this day i have been fasting too, morning didn't eat, afternoon also didn't eat it lasted for about like two week.
Ar then my stomach pain, only eat dinner.
Hai, but it is ok, don't worry, nothing will happen to me.
I won't faint, i won't vomit, and i will not what,
HAHAHA! (touch wood)
My math failed again,
everytime failed
my life is always full with failed
knowledge failed, love failed, family matter failed
I'm just a failure.........
HAI..........
how i wish life will change
Everything could change
Or how i wish i could change myself......

Still in my Dreams

Still thinking..........
And thinking............
Continue thinking.......
All i have been this while is thinking!
I ask myself is there a need
Just forget about him.

As time passes,
My heart has been numb
Time has cover my heart
But why my head is still working?

Maybe he wants a perfect person
And i know i'm not,
But theres nobody perfect,
This world is unfair
And i know it is never fair
But why?

Is God asking me to give up?
I dont know
I just know my heart is confuse
Im lost in a world of mine
Who can help me out
Who can pull me out of this bad dearm
WHO?

Schools

Today our school jurongville celebrate 45th birthday, and suai suai i am in the contingent, don't worry not the flag barrier but the marching contingent. I thought that it will be very fun,so i volunteer myself but in the end i don't not know that it was so tiring! hahaha! We train till very hard, and tiring so i'm a bit regret for volunteering in the marching contingent, but my teammates and i perserves on. On the actual day, i wake up at about 5.15am to perpared and reach school at about 6.3oam to get everything ready. When it was about 7.00am, we were all prepared and was standing at our position. When the school bell rings, everyone come down for assembly but we must stand still and can't do anything thing, also cannot smile and must stand still. After the whole event ended, we must quickly rush back to class to go to the bukit chandu for learning journey. It was quite fun as we play games and walk around!
After school, we went to ann chee house to play badminton, it was so fun. While playing, ann chee also treat us eat ice pop, and mine is grape. But i was the most "pro" in playing badminton cause i use my "qiang long shi ba zhang" haha! Thats briefly whats for today, byebye and i think after playing so much i'm not thinking so much bout him! hehe, he is nothing good right? i guess so! But i wonder wat i say was true not, hai...........

Love is hard

Its been a long time, but i still haven get over him yet....
I thought time will wait for me, but i was wrong!
2 years have past, I still dun have the courage to say out, I thought god will give me more time to be prepared, but i was really very wrong.
Love don't wait for me!

How i wish that time will turn back, maybe things will change!
I have been in my own world, imaging all the good thing that will happen to me, imaging that he is mind, imaging that love is not that hard, but that is only my imagination!

After a long time, their love haven rust, they just got back together, my heart stop pumping for a moment, i cant breath, it was just like someone had stabbed into my heart and i felt that I'm dead!

I knew the god has given me chances for this 1 and the half year, but I'm so regret that i dun cheris it. Why, why am i SO stupid, why i just cant bring out the courage, there nothing wrong to say out what i want right, but why i just dun have the courage, WHY? I really hated myself for who i am, i hated, someone should have really stabbed me to death!

I knew the god have give out the miracle, but it was not to me but to their love, they created it.
Now i have left nothing, NOTHING! For this 1 and the half year, i always done stupid thing, i always have stupid thought and i always think negatively, because my love just cant find the right path!

I always wanted to FORGET, but i just cant, it is easy to remember him but hard to forget.
When he tease me and say all sorts of hurting words to me.
I tried to tell myself to hate him.
I tried to tell myself to forget him and i thought i have.

But when i heard the news about their love, my heart hurt a lot, hurt even more then someone has stabbed me and at that moment of time, i ask myself why aren't I'm dead? I shout in my heart WHY, and i think i should give in to my life, good thing has never happen to me and love is always that hard! I just give them my blessing but I WILL WAIT!

..

Long time have not update my blog, and now a day i have been busy, preparing for my exam, i wish i would pass my exam if not......! I bet you know it so i dun need to say. And i,m very angry this day because of the stupid F*** boy in my class, how i wish i could beat them to death without being caught. Do they have to make fun of me like that, do they need to say out so loud to let the whole world know. Is not their so why do they have to be so KPO, they act like old woman, no worst than a old woman. I really hate them, do they have to embarrasses me like that, what the F*** are they doing! Now I'm so angry, so confuse, what to do now, who can lead me, who can help me? I have been a loser in my whole life, but i think that's fate! I can't even handle a simple thing like love, how could i survive?

Its hard

I finally know that secretly loving someone is a very hard thing, love is not always sweet, it may be bitter sometimes if you don't treasure it! You might have the chance, but you will lose it, you might want the chance, but you don't have it every time! Long time has past, nothing have happen in my whole life, and then i realise he is not the one I'm waiting for, but who? Hai, life is full of mystery, you will not know what will happen to you next time, some people may be lucky, but not all! In my whole life, i never have the taste of love, i have never find my Mr right, maybe its not time for me, i know! Then when will i wait till, 10 years later, i guess so! I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of secretly love, I'm tired of hiding it in my heart but will i have the courage to say it out? So here to tell all those BOYS and GIRLS treasure what you have now, so you wont regret it!